We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
