oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
