Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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