whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
