you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
you made out with another girl for some wings
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize