Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
