Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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