it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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