This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Randomize
