you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Randomize
