dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
