he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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