Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
