She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
