Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
