the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
