doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
