I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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