May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
