she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
