i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
