Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
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