tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
