Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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