No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
A bitchslap is in order.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
