if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Randomize
