I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Randomize
