My brain says no but my pants say off.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
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