just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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