Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I understand Curling. That high.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I intend to get homeless drunk
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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