I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Randomize