Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
