quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
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