I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
