I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
