update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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