a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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