I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
