Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
