Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
