Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
