How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
