I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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