Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
