Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I won't apologize to a one balled man
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
well, you know. whores of a feather.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
