I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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