he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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