i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
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