She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Holy shit dude........stairs
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
