I hope mine doesn't look like that
Small penises have feelings too.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
