Capitaan dildo arrescate!
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
