So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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