Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Randomize
