Its about making memories worth repressing
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
