STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
