very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
