i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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