i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
