i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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